And to be honest, I don’t think he knew what he was saying either.
He wasn’t particularly imaginative, or even literate.
I only have vague memories about the first time I had sex.(I was 15, and it was the intermission of my camp’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream; I was Helena, he was Lysander, and that’s all you need to know.) I do, however, have a very clear memory of the first time I had cybersex. His AIM handle was Frank Zappy, and I believe he claimed to be a married man from Queens.(For the next few years, I thought “cum” was a synonym for “penis,” in large part due to Frank Zappy’s sloppy syntax.) I don’t remember being sexually aroused by my relationship with Frank Zappy, so much as I was just fascinated by anything vaguely related to sex at the time.I probably got a similar thrill from watching my Sims family make woo-hoo.If you secretly wanted to be spanked, for instance, but were worried your partner wouldn’t be receptive to the idea, it was easy to find someone who would be in one of the hundreds of BDSM-themed chatrooms.
The fact that you had no idea what the person you were typing with even looked like in some ways heightened the thrill.“I feel like everyone who talks about it now and is like, ‘Oh me and my friends would do that all the time’ are covering up that they were probs kind of turned on too.” Like many relationships that start online, these interactions were marked by a patented, often outrageous dishonesty.“I lied about my age, my location, my gender,” one of my coworkers told me.“I think I probably was truthful about my species, but beyond that I just fed everyone lies.” More often than not, these lies would backfire in absurd, hilarious ways: One of my best friends, for instance, once sent an image of Mandy Moore from her desktop when she was asked for a photo by a chatroom paramour, at which point he “politely informed me there was a copyright notice at the bottom of the photo.” Without Skype, Facebook, or any identity verification system to speak of, the adult AOL chatrooms made up a universe that was almost completely void of accountability.Even if someone didn’t believe that you were, say, Stone Cold Steve Austin or Mandy Moore, it almost didn’t matter; you might have been lying, and your partner likely knew you were lying, but because he or she was probably lying too, no one seemed to care.Then one day, he started telling me what he wanted to do to me if he met me, and I, picking up on his cues, told him what I (or “Dana”) wanted to do to him.