After a certain point, most of us learn how to practice personal forgiveness when we look into the mirror. It’s really all about age—how well people take care of themselves.
What advice would you give people over 50 who are looking for someone? We’ve all seen women who are 50 who look 60, or men who are 70 who look 50.
If I can be with a young woman, that means I’m still hip and cool and all those things I’ve always wanted to be. That said, what are the downsides of dating someone younger? But just as I was feeling pretty good about myself, she’d talk to a young waiter, or make a comment to a good-looking guy at the bar, and my confidence would just fly out the window.Orr: I find I just don’t have that much in common with younger women. I guess deep down I always wondered why she’d want to be with an old guy like me! Women are more independent and assertive, less in need of reassurance or approval from their partners.To find the answers, we sat down with some boomers as well as relationship experts to determine just how important age really is. I’ve dated younger men in the past, and they were very impressed that I had “grown-up things” like good china and silver and could cook a great meal.The Panelists: Judsen Culbreth, author of James Orr, 57, of Oklahoma City, OK — widowed at 51 Billie Fitzpatrick, 53, of Jersey City, NJ — divorced twice Joy Evans, 63, of La Canada, CA — divorced once Dick Camfield, 61, of Phoenix, AZ — never been married First things first: When it comes to dating after 50, does age really matter? I’d love to find a younger woman I have a lot in common with. Yet, they also loved the fact that I play golf and have a youthful attitude. If age does make a difference, what are the benefits of dating someone younger when you’re over 50?It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.
Steer clear of these topics until you know each other better. Your 25-year-old may want to linger and go down the rabbit hole trying to figure it all out. Take care of yourself by initiating a conversation and sharing your needs and wants. This keeps you open to someone who might not be your type. Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. Genetically, we’re wired to pick mates who are good “specimens.” It’s a primal urge. Camfield: There are many benefits to dating someone in my age bracket. Boomers want to be with someone who remembers the same things they do from the past. According to the National Institute of Health, only between 15 percent and 25 percent of men over 65 have erectile dysfunction severe enough to preclude intercourse.If their date’s biggest cultural reference is , it’s hard to relate. What’s more, studies show that middle-aged and older people are actually more comfortable with their bodies than younger people are.Plus, Boomers are known as “zoomers” because they do so much these days—so most have no problem keeping up with someone ten or even twenty years their junior. I’ve had several serious relationships with men more than ten years younger than I am, and I’m currently dating a man who’s 52. I don’t want to date a man in his sixties—that just seems much too old for me.I know I’m in my sixties, too, but I feel so much younger than that. Orr: I guess I look at it as a status symbol of sorts. I loved being with such a beautiful, young woman; it was a definite ego boost.Plus, she wanted kids, and my two kids are already grown so I’ve been there, done that. Culbreth: Sometimes people this age fall into the trap of supporting the person financially or taking on a parental role. So what are the benefits of dating someone older when you’re in your fifties? Men become more nurturing, more comfortable with intimacy and able to share themselves in ways they never could before.