You might ask your partner what's wrong with an intention to learn, and if he or she opens up, then you can have a productive conversation.
I will lose myself.""If I lose the person I love through death, I can't handle the pain."These are the fears that are behind the fear of intimacy.
It's not the intimacy itself, but the bad things that can happen that are sometimes part of an intimate relationship.
The Fears What is the first fearful thought you think when you think of feeling close to someone?
"I'm going to be rejected or I'm going to be abandoned.""I'm going to be smothered, engulfed, controlled.
If so, your partner may be struggling with fear of intimacy. In order to understand fear of intimacy, it is helpful to understand what defines intimacy.
Does it seem like every time you start to get close to your partner, she or he finds a way to prevent you from connecting on a deeper level?
Now, I wonder how I can best take loving care of myself until he or she opens up?
"As a loving adult, you would not take your partner's behavior personally and feel rejected by it, nor would you give yourself up trying to get your partner to open up.
Is this pain inevitable in an intimate relationship? The pain of rejection or engulfment is NOT inevitable.
The pain of losing a loved one through death may happen and is always a huge challenge, but would you really rather live a life without love than face this challenge?
As reported by Miodrag Popovic (2005) in his article “Intimacy and Its Relevance in Human Functioning,” the word intimacy originates “from the Latin term ‘intimus’ which means ‘innermost’ and refers to sharing what is inmost with others” (p. Intimacy can be used in reference to various kinds of relationships and generally refers to mutual intellectual, experiential, emotional, or sexual expression which fosters feelings of closeness or connectedness.