In therapy, ambivalent men oftentimes recall feeling humiliated at some point in their young childhood for crying or being too emotional.
She became more emotionally intense and, ironically, although Rob was less available to her, she was more dependent on him.
I have seen in my clinical practice—working with young and middle-aged adults—that a dynamic such as this can still result in marriage despite all.
This is particularly true when they are also parents and responsible for small children.
On the other hand, men who do not have emotional intimacy with their wives often live a dulled out existence and have fewer close relationships with friends or with their own children.
Instead, they're typically left feeling as if they're not good enough, and frustrated that they cannot have their needs met. As I describe in my my book, a woman who chronically pursues ambivalent men only lives out one small part of what it means to be female.
This manifests to the partner as emotional neediness—“Where are you? She tunes into her nurturing, caregiver self to such a degree that she forfeits a strong core sense of who she is separate from her relationships with others.
The wife finds herself with an unreliable partner she cannot depend upon for the logistics of life, let alone her emotional needs.
Think Big Picture It is not about getting a man to commit or to step up to the plate.
Often the "player" eventually tires out or sees his cohort maturing to the next level of commitment.
He fears being left behind and commits to the last person he finds in his arms.
She put her other interests on the back burner to spend more time with Rob.