“Breast cancer survivors offer a unique understanding of the value of life—and love.”) The women you’re about to meet— Jenny, Kristina, and Nicole—are proof."When I signed up for OKCupid, they asked, What’s the most private thing you’re willing to admit?
My answers: Laundry is my favorite chore, and I’m a breast cancer survivor. The first guy I had sex with after cancer was a beautiful, tattooed philosopher. I’m glad they do, though; now I’m using them to find The One. I have bikini shots on my profile because I’m proud of my body: I want to show my “shark bite”—the scar on my belly from the reconstruction—and my ' Frankenboob,' which used to be higher than the other one but has fallen into place.
I’d gotten used to the constant support of my friends and family. And I dreaded the possibility of getting sick again: I didn’t know how to live in hope instead of fear. Last weekend I woke up with Coffee Meets Bagel guy at A. I try to do the same when it comes to online dating, which I haven’t done much of yet.Finding my partner is important, but I’ve been busy working and getting my doctorate.Before being intimate with someone, I’ll show him my breasts in a nonsexual way.I’ll say, ' You can push on them—they’re hard!Once upon a time, women who have survived cancer will tell you, the fact that you’d been through the horror of a diagnosis and surgery was not public information—not at work and certainly not on a first date.
Flash forward to 2016 and, experts say, there’s a very different attitude.
I say in my profile that I’m involved with the breast cancer charity The Pink Agenda, but I don’t mention my diagnosis or link to my Instagram, which has pictures of me doing things as a survivor. It’s about my life, and I I almost always talk about my cancer on the first date.
I go in prepared for him not to be OK with it, but no one has said anything negative.
But it’s not the way I dreamed of meeting somebody, not the ideal way. In my early twenties I was bulimic, emotionally fragile, and too proud to put myself out there on a dating site. I was diagnosed at 26, after testing positive for BRCA2, one of the breast cancer genes.
I got an MRI as a precaution, and it revealed a stage I tumor.
At one point he put his head in my lap, and we were talking and laughing, and I leaned over so far he said, ' Is that a boob on my forehead?