“Uh…sure…” I said, seriously still not getting the fact that he liked me. We kissed for a long time and then he asked me for my phone number.I think my drive home that night was the turning point in my newly separated life.But, had he decided never to call me again, the mold had already been broken.
My heart stopped when I saw him because he was seriously drop dead gorgeous. He introduced himself with a huge grin that almost gave me a heart attack.The two of us would end up talking for the next two hours!wo years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. It lasted a full 10 hours (we’d met up for coffee at 3 p.m.on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book KNOW.In a few short hours, I’d gone from thinking my romantic opportunities were over to realizing that a new part of my life was just beginning. Although, let’s be honest, I looked at my cell phone every three seconds the next day.
He did call and we ended up dating for a few months.
They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.
They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.
I do believe that whole routine would be more fun that than which I’ve described above. He knows to say, “I’m not sure it does your figure justice,” in lieu of, “Eww! And seeing as how teaching a man these lessons is akin to herding stray cats, this is a valuable attribute to luck into. I’ll take him, and I’ll work to be patient when his ex-wife makes her weekly call.
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There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife.