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Every fiber of my body was screaming at me to stop stalling, to pull this girl against me as tightly as I could and never let go.

Hours later, she finished putting everything into its proper place, and it was time to sleep so that we could get an early start in the morning.We hugged, said goodnight, and then I hesitated before going out the door."You don't want to go downstairs tonight, do you? She had a liberal attitude when it came to physical affection.All sorts of hugging and holding hands and kisses on cheeks were acceptable, which was very different from my upbringing.Female • 17 years old • Back of a car My best guy friend, who had served as my first boyfriend years earlier, had recently come out to me as bisexual.

His boyfriend was edging his way into our group of friends, which pushed us all a bit more to the wild side.Soon though, we had to turn off the music and heater, because we knew that neither my gas tank or my battery would last through the cold night. When I didn't laugh the suggestion off, my friend looked at me more seriously, and asked if I would honestly be okay with it. We started with me making out with each of them in turn.Partly because I still harbored hopes that he would fall back in love with me, and partly because I was sick of feeling more immature than all my friends because I was the only remaining virgin, I just shrugged and said "Sure." I took a few shots of the whiskey the boyfriend had swiped for the weekend to fortify myself (even though I hated whiskey). Then, because I felt more comfortable with my close friend, he went down on me while I kissed his boyfriend. Then, the process was repeated, but with each of them penetrating me this time.The experience was not pleasurable for me, but it wasn't particularly unpleasurable either, so I continually assured them that it was great when they asked. I dashed outside naked and ran across the ice to some bushes.As I passed Monica's car, I heard nothing; she and her boyfriend had gone to sleep.This reassured me that the boys in my car would probably be tired too, so I waited outside in the cold, hoping to hear my car fall silent soon.